


The only stable thing in the swirling chaos

by koios



Series: Awake, chaos: we have napped [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Airbender Ty Lee (Avatar), Avatar Zuko (Avatar), Backstory, Chaos Avatar Zuko, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, June is a badass, Prequel, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Yue (Avatar) Lives, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, a LOT of swearing because it’s June, more tags soon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26616364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koios/pseuds/koios
Summary: Backstory for my fic ‘Chaos Was the Law of Nature, Order Was the Dream of Man’. Chaos Avatar Zuko getting his group together, meeting his bending teachers and various hijinks. Not in any particular order, but so far I have written/planned:Meeting TophMeeting YueMeeting JuneSuki and Yue’s relationshipVaatu trying to figure out how to dadTy Lee, and Zuko finding out about her airbendingMai and Ty Lee both leaving for the circusNot planned Azula’s story yet, but she’s getting a happy ending because my girl deserves it
Relationships: Azula & Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), June & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki/Yue (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko, Tui & Yue (Avatar), Vaatu & Zuko (Avatar), Yue & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Awake, chaos: we have napped [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936210
Comments: 44
Kudos: 356





	1. Toph

**Author's Note:**

> For context, check out my other fic in this series - not strictly necessary, but it might make things make a bit more sense. 
> 
> This part takes place about a month after Zuko leaves/escapes the Fire Nation
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Toph meet, Toph makes her first friend who isn’t a badgermole

“Where exactly are we going?” Zuko asked, ignoring the aches all over his body. The only thing worse than being in more types of pain than he thought possible was a spirit of darkness fussing over him.  
‘I do not know these places by their mortal names’ Vaatu admitted, ‘but I’m sure I’ll know it when I see it.’

Zuko was too tired to even roll his eyes. Travelling at night was probably a bad idea too, but even the sight of the sun, always hovering over him, felt like fire. But with his body hardwired to rise and set with Agni, exhaustion had set in far too quickly. Vaatu urged him to reconnect with his element, but his first disastrous attempt to firebend was almost as bad as the event that made him stop.

He didn’t even want to think about that evening and his father, but the memory was almost impossible to banish. Kneeling on the hard tiles before his father’s throne. Feeling a hand on his face. Looking up, seeing something he couldn’t name in his father’s eyes. And then pain.  
The memory stopped there, and Zuko was glad. Waking up alone in the forest to the smell of blood and burnt flesh had been awful, but that wasn’t what haunted his nightmares. That wasn’t what made him afraid to sleep, afraid to wake up, afraid to think. Vaatu had brought up firebending only once since them, and Zuko announced that he’d be more likely to bend metal.

Then he met Toph.

Zuko very quickly learned not to make any sort of challenge within earshot of her, ever.  
He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he woke up being kicked by a small, angry child. Sure, the kicks hurt, but all he could think when he opened his eyes and saw her was ‘tiny Azula’.  
It was probably the dark hair and fancy dress, or maybe the fact that she was kicking him (one of Azula’s favourite activities). The glower she fixed on him was so fierce it took him a second to notice that her eyes were cloudy; she was blind. 

“Who are you?” She demanded, sending a rock into his back with a well placed kick. An earthbender.

‘I like this one.’ Vaatu mused. And he couldn’t argue with that.

———

She was fierce, powerful, absolutely adorable, and prone to maim people who called her that. Zuko was in love. He would adopt this child if it killed him (and it just might).

They quickly learned, after a loud and violent first meeting, that they were both incredibly stubborn. Somehow, it worked out. Within a week, Zuko had an earthbending master, and Toph had a human punching bag. She called it equivalent exchange; Zuko called it painful.  
But she never stopped pushing him to be stronger, faster, better. He’d thought it would remind him of his father, endlessly reminding him that he would never be good enough - but Toph somehow made it fun. He laughed for the first time in two years in the middle of a training session, the noise pulled out of him unexpectedly when Toph threw him against a tree for the ninth time that day. It wasn’t any funnier than anything else she had done, but he just felt good. Everything felt good, and sometimes he forgot that his burns ached and his chest felt cold and empty.

She was there the first time he firebent again, delightedly punching his arm in a way that didn’t even make him think of his father. Looking back, that was the happiest Zuko had ever been up to that point.

But, as usually happened in his life, parents ruined it.

Lao and Poppy Beifong were quite possibly the stupidest people he had never met, if Toph’s stories were anything to go by. They had no idea they were raising the strongest earthbender Zuko had ever seen, quite possibly the best in the world, and they didn’t even want to know. Toph had told them time and time again that she didn’t need to learn the basics, that she wasn’t the helpless little girl they saw her as, that she just wanted them to listen to her, just for a minute.

The first time he saw her cry was her ninth birthday. She had run into his camp, blinking back tears, then dropped down next to the fire with him and sobbed into his shirt. They had thrown her a party, she said, and made her sit silently in the corner while the other noble children ran around and played. Toph, apparently, was far too fragile. Surely she would trip and hurt herself, and ruin her lovely party dress. When a little girl had come up and tried to talk to her, Lao Beifong had shooed her away, saying he only wanted to protect his daughter from the cruelty of other children.  
Toph had run out, torn a hole through the garden walls, and made a beeline for Zuko’s camp. When she told him it was her favourite place, he cried too.

They both agreed to pretend they hadn’t spent the whole night sobbing in each other’s arms.

Then it got worse, when Toph went home and didn’t come back for several days. On the fifth day, Zuko applied his earthbending for the first time, and managed to navigate underground into the Beifong’s garden. Ruining the flowerbeds wasn’t strictly necessary, but no one had to know that. Toph felt him coming, and was already grinning when he climbed through the window of her ground floor bedroom.

“I thought you’d never show, Sparky,” she teased, and they both pretended there weren’t tear tracks on her cheeks.

“I missed you,” he admitted, “I’m basically useless without you,”

“And don’t you forget it. So, how do you feel about kidnapping?”

And that was how Zuko acquired the greatest earthbender in the world, and the little sister he hadn’t realised was missing from his family.

•••

Toph has only ever broken down in front of three people, and Zuko was the only one she didn’t regret. Her parents would just crowd around her, giving her light touches that were meant to be reassuring, and promising they wouldn’t let her hurt like this again. But she didn’t want that, she wanted them to let her hurt and let her feel, and not murmur in a way that made her want to crush the feeling down.

Zuko held her tight, like she wasn’t fragile, and told her to cry and shout as much as she needed to. They weren’t usually soft with each other, but they knew when they needed to be. He knew when she needed to rage at the world and when she needed to be held. She knew when to push as hard as she could with him and when to speak softly and whisper promises that she would never let him face his family alone, that she was his family now.

Toph had always thought that being a little sister would be awful, and she was half glad her parents only had one child (and she wouldn’t wish her early life on anyone). But when she had decided Zuko was her big brother, and told him so, it felt good. She felt happy, genuinely happy; she could feel through the flutter of his heartbeat that he was too.

He talked about his other sister sometimes, but it made them both sad. She could almost hear his heart break when he described how she’d changed from an excitable toddler to a cold, violent child pretending she wasn’t just as scared as her brother. More than anything, it made Toph angry. Angry was a feeling she was used to, but being angry on someone else’s behalf was new, and burned so much hotter.  
She wasn’t entirely sure where it was directed, but it was easier to feel than think about.

Azula was a victim, but she had hurt Zuko too. He had let Toph feel some of the scars across his arms and back, quietly telling her what and who they came from - Azula, pushing him out of a tree; Azula pinning him down underwater at the beach, against the sharp rocks; his father, angry he hadn’t perfected a new firebending form; his father burning a handprint into his back for talking too loud at a ceremony; his father, his father, his father.

If Zuko didn’t want to, Toph would kill Ozai. She didn’t tell Zuko, but she would.

They were almost polar opposites in experiences, but so very similar in every other way. They were stubborn, angry at the world, but trying not to be. They were both scared, but they wouldn’t admit it to anyone but each other. They both pushed hard, themselves and each other, and pretended they weren’t terrified of pushing the other too far. They both needed a good sibling and a better friend, and they had it now.

Toph decided she kinda liked family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yue’s coming next!
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos, comments and constructive criticism!


	2. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> June doesn’t really like kids, but the universe doesn’t really care. She ends up making three exceptions anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said Yue was next, but I decided to embrace the chaos that is this series (and definitely not because I got distracted writing and did this instead)

It started with June drinking alone at a bar. Most things in her life started like that, but very few ended that way. Unlike many of her other ‘adventures’, this one started with three children. In hindsight, it could have been a joke. An earthbender, a firebender and a waterbender walk into a bar. The punchline, however, would probably not be quite as funny as what actually happened.

June didn’t look up when the door opened, but she certainly did when a very high pitched voice yelled, “Which one of you dunderheads wants to fight me?”

The kid was tiny, blind and had a feral grin on her face that instantly made June like her. As would be expected, laughter rang out.

“Get your little sister out of here, kid!” Someone called to the two (maybe?) teenagers with her. 

“If it’s no kids allowed, the who let all you wusses in?” The blind girl retorted. June decided she really liked this kid.

“We’re very sorry for the intrusion,” called the white haired girl next to her, looking far more embarrassed. And very out of her depth. The boy with them looked like he’d fit in the most, with a huge scar over half his face and a general ‘fuck off’ vibe, but the fact he was holding the little girl’s hand kinda killed the image.

“Come on, cowards. I’ll bet you ten gold you can’t take me in arm wrestling!”

Ah, rich kids. Or maybe stupid kids, because they certainly didn’t look like they’d been living in luxury. The older girl was the most put together, but even her clothes looked well worn and her boots were muddy. 

“Alright, little girl!” Someone called. The room had noticeably perked up at the mention of gold, and most of the patrons were snickering amongst themselves. As tough as the girl was, June didn’t like her odds. Still, she downed her drink and wandered over to the crowd that was forming. 

The guy was almost pure muscle, smirking and preening as he wandered over. The blind girl didn’t seem at all bothered as people crowded around, just let her brother help her onto a chair. That got a few more harsh chuckles, but none of the kids looked fazed. Even the previously apologetic girl seemed calm, like this kid wasn’t most likely about to get her arm snapped off.

“Ready, little girl?” The guy dropped his coins on the table, and the taller girl pulled out a small pouch, dropping it onto the wood.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.”

The girl’s confidence was so impressive June almost didn’t want to watch her lose. But then again, she’d never been a very good person. This should be interesting.

And, oh, it was. The match lasted less than five seconds, and they were the most entertaining five seconds of June’s life. The guy’s hand went down with a resounding thud of flesh on wood, and there was an even longer stretch of stunned silence. Then cheering, whooping, and uproarious laughter, because people here didn’t care who they were laughing at as long as someone got knocked down.

“Is that the best you guys have got?”

———

It turned out that, yes, that was the best they’d got. The tiny blind girl took down half of the bar’s patrons and two bartenders, now sitting with an impressive pile of coins. Reactions were swinging between delight, amazement and annoyance - mostly from people who had lost to a child in less than ten seconds.

June really, really liked this kid.

Which was why she didn’t immediately tell them to fuck off when the little group approached her a few hours later.

“Hello, we were wondering if you could help us,” the older girl started with a gentle smile. June raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“We heard you worked on a freelance basis-“ well, that was one way of phrasing ‘unemployed bounty hunter’ - “and we were hoping to hire you.”

Okay, that piqued her interest. “What do you want?”

The blind girl grinned her feral grin. “Adult supervision.”

———

She was not kidding. June found herself standing at the entrance of a shady building with three children, explaining to the bouncer that she was their older cousin, and definitely gave her permission as an adult for them to enter an earthbending fight club. This was the most interesting day she’d had in years.

When they got inside, she found herself seated next to the older girl, who definitely looked to prim and proper for this kind of place. She learned her name was Yue, the quiet boy was Zuko, and the little girl was Toph, self proclaimed best earthbender in the world. June wasn’t going to doubt anything the kid said until proven wrong.

Yue calmly explained that Toph and Zuko were earthbenders, and Toph was Zuko’s teacher. This was apparently a learning experience.  
June quickly learned how to duck flying debris.

Toph took out her first opponent in one move, settling into an unfamiliar stance and quickly sliding one foot out in front of her. The arena floor erupted into rock and dust, sending a pillar straight into her opponent’s chest. The guy didn’t stand a chance.

She took out three more increasingly irate earthbenders before declaring that she was bored, wandering over to sit next to June. 

Zuko was up next, and he was definitely Toph’s student. He took a similar stance, deflecting a barrage of boulders with sharp yet effortless movements, bringing up a wall of rock with one hand and shattering it with the other, sending the debris into the other bender.

“Nice one,” Toph murmured. 

Wait. Wasn’t she blind?

“Of course I’m blind.” She said to June, and holy shit was this kid psychic? “Doesn’t mean I can’t see though.”

“The fuck?”

The older girl shot her a sharp look, but June was too busy watching reality unravel.

Toph laughed loudly. “I see through the earth. I told you I was the best earthbenders alive.”

June believed her.

———

It became a weekly occurrence, and in the end June stopped taking their money. Watching cocky benders getting their asses handed to them by a blind kid and an awkward teenager was payment enough. Zuko turned out be cool too, and Yue was far less of a stick in the mud than June had thought. She’d never thought she’d get on with kids, but life was unpredictable. That was the philosophy that got her through most of her life.  
And it was the philosophy that got her through what happened next.

Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

Well, a few Fire Nation thugs that tried to bother them on the way back from the fight. The bastards always travelled in packs, about ten of them this time, stopping purposefully in front of them.

“What do you want?” June drawled, inching her fingers towards one of the knives in her belt.

“We’re looking for earthbenders,” one said, “and we’d be happy to let you go if you directed us toward some.”

“I’m afraid we don’t know any benders,” Yue said calmly, “and we really must be getting home.”

One of the soldiers reached out to grab her wrist, but Toph moved faster. Her heel slammed down, and the soldier flew backwards with a yell and a rock to the chest. The rest all lunged at once.

June was by no means the best at close combat, but she sure knew how to fight dirty. And Zuko’s swords turned out to not just be a fashion statement.  
The fight was quick and brutal, but nothing new there. But June had never fought this many benders at once before, and Nyla was usually there with his... unique skill set. She felt the fire before she saw it, and turned to see two of the firebenders, two charges of fire, crackling towards her. Zuko was suddenly beside her, and moving faster. For a second before her brain caught up, it looked like his swords could drive back flames.  
Then: oh, firebender.  
Then: what? Earthbender!  
Then: oh fuck shit fuck fuck shit avatar-

———

“You’re the Avatar.” She stated, when they got back to the kids’ camp.

“Long story. Don’t tell anyone and I won’t tell anyone you needed my help back there.”

“Deal.”

“Cool, want to meet a chaos spirit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing June’s POV because I don’t have to cut back on the swearing. She’s not meant to be a good influence on the kids anyway...


	3. Yue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spirits meddle in human affairs, but for once, it’s not just Vaatu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yue’s part is finally here!

“This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.” Toph announced, “I love it, let’s go.”

———

The North Pole was cold, and Zuko was about to beat up a spirit if Vaatu made one more comment about putting on more furs ‘just in case you get frostbite, the mortal form is weak. Not that you are, vessel, I’m proud of you. Please just dress warm’.

He’d started giving Toph a running commentary of what Vaatu was saying, much to her delight, and she had since decided that Vaatu was her dad too. Zuko was too tired to protest that Vaatu wasn’t his dad. Honestly, a spirit calls you ‘son’ one time and suddenly everyone thinks you’re being adopted (‘you are being adopted, vessel. This isn’t your choice to make, now how do we play this mortal ‘catch’ game?’).

The icy plains were vast and barren, only broken up by the occasional ice spike or frigid lake. Zuko silently thanked the spirits (except Vaatu) that they had managed to get a sled and a polar bear dog before setting out. The wooden sled was admittedly small and rickety, but big enough for their supplies and occasionally Toph when she got sick of walking or riding on Zuko’s shoulders. She had vocally and repeatedly expressed her displeasure at having to wear shoes, but sharply decreased her complaining when Zuko explained what frostbite was.

“Well I suppose I do need toes to perfect my new forms,” she had mumbled, allowing Zuko to give her all three pairs of socks he deemed necessary.

Every second they travelled, Zuko missed the sweltering heat of the Fire Nation more and more, which was a weird thing to think about. Fire and strong heat still made his pulse quicken, but right now, his hatred of the Poles was winning. Toph seemed to share the sentiment, bundled up in in so many furs she looked softer than the polar bear dog. And, because her earth senses were null, Zuko could smile about how cute she looked all he wanted.

She looked like the nine year old she was, and had never been able to be until now.  
He knew better than to say it outright, but he was glad she was learning how to be a kid. He didn’t say anything about it when she rolled around in the snow, or snuck treats to the polar bear dog, or when they debated for hours whether they should name him Adzuki or Baozi. Toph won, and Zuko conceded that Baozi was better after ten snowballs to the face.

•••

Yue trusted the moon more than anyone. Trying to explain it would get her laughed at or ignored, so she kept her nights on the balcony, gazing up, to herself.

Waterbenders gained their power from the moon, but that statement was always far too simplistic to her. None of the other benders, even the masters, ever mentioned feeling moonbeams on their skin like a gentle caress, or seeing the moon pull the tides back and forth and hearing the waves whisper.

She knew that her connection to her element was stronger than most, but surely she couldn’t be the only one who heard Tui’s soft whispers in her dreams? Was she really the only one who slept better on the hard balcony under the moon, than in a soft bed and pile of furs? Was she the only one who felt the moon’s embrace, and sought comfort in its whispers?

The moon taught her to bend better than any master, even Yugoda, could. Healing under Yugoda’a tutelage felt right, and came to her as easy as breathing, but nights spent watching and copying the tides felt less like learning and more like remembering something she could always do. Tui guided her arms and legs and chi, showed her how to push and pull and move with the water, rather than making it move for her. Her masters said she was a natural, clearly blessed by the waterbending spirit herself.

They said it was such a pity that her other duties got in the way.

Maybe if she was lucky, they said, her husband would let her continue her lessons. Yue always smiled and nodded, and didn’t let the dark, twisting feeling in her stomach rear its head. She knew her duties, to her father and her people. Tui and La had sacrificed their immortality for humans, so it was in her blood to make similar sacrifices.

One night, Tui had told her softly and sadly just how proud she was, how she wished it could be different. Yue whispered aloud for the first time that she felt the same.  
She was thirteen when a new destiny offered itself, and Tui’s soft voice in her head urged her to take it. She was bending under a full moon, feeling every molecule of water in the air, the walls, the ground, her own body. Then she felt a shift - two shifts - below her balcony. People often wandered the streets at night, unaware of their princess above them moving in sync with the moon and ocean.

These were different.  
She knew push and pull, and what she felt was pull. Her blood sang for her to move, seek them out, and Tui was suddenly encouraging her to do the same. She knew spirits, and she could feel two now: Tui, urging her to go, and one she didn’t recognise calling her silently from below.  
Two voices were reaching up too, and she knew instantly that they weren’t from her tribe. There had been no visitors from outside recently, but Yue didn’t doubt they were meant to be here. The spirits had their ways, and she was not one to question them.

There would be guards all around the front of the house; the back, with her balcony, was the only unguarded area. ‘Go meet your destiny, child,’ Tui whispered.

•••

At first, Zuko thought Yue was a spirit herself. He and Toph sat next to the canal, under an overhang of immaculately shaped ice, and talked about what to do next. He trusted Vaatu, but the spirit’s instructions were vague at best, and more confusing than some of the tea proverbs uncle used to love.  
Uncle wasn’t someone he liked to think about anymore.

When a flurry of water, snow and ice flowed down next to them in an elegant spiral, he was on his feet in an instant, in a firebending stance he hadn’t used in years. Toph, now relying on hearing rather than earth sense, was only a second behind him.  
It solidified into something like a staircase, and second later, a girl appeared, looking nervous in a way he would come to learn was very rare. She looked like an apparition, or something out of a spirit tale - graceful and poised despite the fact she could be no older than Zuko. 

“Who’s there?” Toph demanded.

“Oh, I’m sorry for startling you,” the girl said, glancing between them hesitantly, “my name is Yue.”

Zuko knew she was spirit touched even before Vaatu chimed in - not just her stark white hair, but something in her eyes.

‘Named for the moon,’ Vaatu hummed in his head, ‘Tui favours her.’

“Do you know the moon?” Zuko blurted out before he could stop himself. Behind him, he heard Toph slap her palm against her forehead. 

Yue looked briefly stunned. “Yes,” she murmured, “I do. Would you come inside for a while? I think there’s something we need to talk about.”

“Well,” Toph said, “I did not expect that to work.”

———

Yue turned out to be the princess of the Northern Water Tribe, which was going to cause a lot of problems, but Zuko hadn’t expected anything less from Vaatu. The spirit seemed to love making his life as chaotic as possible, which was on brand, but frustrating.

•••

Tui watched her child with such a rush of fondness that she felt a mortal heart would break under the pressure. Her daughter, her beautiful, brave child. Yue would rise up to meet her destiny at any cost, Tui knew, but now she could choose a fate that wouldn’t stifle her spirit more and more each day. Her little one could be free and happy, and alive.

She knew one day Yue would join her in the Spirit World, and Tui could finally tell her brave child just how proud she was. But not too soon. An older spirit had once warned her of a crossroads in Yue’s fate - a choice and a sacrifice she must make. Tui could not tell her, could not interfere, but she could know. Every human had a hundred worlds, a hundred lives, a hundred chances to choose and live or die. Seeing that spider-fly web of fates and destinies was never a gift Tui had wished for, but she liked knowing this. She liked knowing that her child would not suffer and fall at the hands of cruel mortal ambition. She liked knowing that the path her daughter had chosen was the one that would bring her love and joy.

“I understand you now.”

She did not startle at that voice in the way she once would have. 

“Human love is an odd thing,” she conceded, “but so beautiful. Loving a mortal is never something you foresee, even with all the foresight in the realm.”

“I should thank you for your help. I know I am not well liked in this place.”

“I was wrong about you. I think we all were.”

“You would admit to being wrong?”

“Tides change every moment, and if I wish to guide them, I must move with them. And I should be thanking you.”

Tui gazed down at her child, carefully penning her letter and laying it down on her pillow. There was a hesitant, but true, smile on her lips.

“Thank you for saving my child, Vaatu.”


	4. Ty Lee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee and Zuko share secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Airbender Ty Lee!!! One of my favourite headcanons, because I’m honestly convinced it’s canon. Also Zuko and Ty Lee as kids! Also Mailee!
> 
> Got a bit darker than I expected, but I’m sick so I can do what I want 
> 
> For updates and snippets (and cool art) [find me on tumblr!](https://koiotic.tumblr.com/)

No one was supposed to know. It was ironic that Ty Lee’s biggest secret was the one thing she was dying to tell everyone, but even at ten she knew not to - it would have set her apart from her sisters, but it would also get her killed. She didn’t want to be different from them that badly. 

But when she was alone, and she could curl up and twist the air around her fingertips, it wasn’t about them at all. It was about the tiny tornadoes she could swirl around the room and the way she was so light on her feet some of her flips didn’t even have to land at all. It was the warm feeling coursing through her, like the aura clouds everyone wore.  
And it was the coldness, because even at ten she understood that her nation was the reason she couldn’t tell anyone. Airbenders were to be killed on sight, the best she could hope for was lifelong imprisonment. Airbenders were threats.

So Ty Lee smiled and giggled and flipped and jumped around because people never paid attention to her feather lightness when they were too busy rolling their eyes and ignoring her. It wasn’t all a lie, even she couldn’t lie as well as Azula, but it wasn’t all necessarily real either. But she had grown up in high society, so nothing much was real anyway. 

But making Mai smile was definitely real, and so was the bright wriggly feeling she got whenever Mai let the corner of her mouth twitch up and her eyes crinkle. Mai was the first person she told. She’d thought she would be the only one, but the universe disagreed. And the universe always dropped pretty strong hints.

———

Mai and Azula were fast asleep when she crept out, almost silent over the plush rugs that carpeted the princess’s chambers. At home, she’d never lacked any luxuries, but sometimes the sheer decadence of the palace was shocking. It didn’t feel lived in, like it was a display house that the family had just moved into. It was probably the dozens of servants that seemed to inhabit every room, day and night. She wondered if Azula felt as watched as she always did when she visited.

But tonight no one heard her as she made her way outside on feather light feet. She wasn’t sure if that was bending, genetics or just her, but it made her feel closer to her element when she moved like this. Swinging and flipping through the air was almost flying - as close as she’d ever get, because there weren’t exactly any masters she could learn from. Her people had made sure of that.  
No - dwelling on that wasn’t good for her health or her aura. Sadness didn’t do anything but make her sad, and tinge the light pink haze with greys and blacks.

Like Zuko’s aura, which was how she noticed him. It hung around his head like a storm-cloud, invisible like the others but definitely there in a way only Ty Lee could apparently sense. He was sitting cross legged next to the pond, staring hard at the water. A turtleduckling was lazily paddling around as he reached out a hand, sending out ripples as his hand touched the surface. She could faintly make out the rest of the turtleduck family in his lap and around his legs.  
Azula teased him mercilessly for his affinity for animals, but Ty Lee thought it was sweet. People who liked animals always seemed to have brighter auras. Even Zuko’s usually dull one seemed a bit lighter.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, but after ten - maybe twenty - seconds, Zuko shifted closer to the water and reached out again, this time over the water.  
And it moved.  
A tiny wave rolled over the surface, the lone turtleduck letting out a quack that sounded almost excited. He made another movement, fingers splayed out, and created ripples to the far corners of the pond.

Ty Lee forgot how to breathe.

“You can waterbend?” Her voice was so suddenly, jarringly loud against the quiet night.  
When he looked up at her with terrified eyes, she felt his aura turn pitch black.

“Ty Lee?”

Zuko tensed, shooting to his feet, maybe to say something or maybe to run. The turtleducks protested, scattering and stumbling around his ankles.

“Wait! I’m not going to tell anyone!” She winced and lowered her voice, “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

He still looked scared and suspicious, and she couldn’t blame him, but she understood. Sneaking in bending sessions when no one was looking, living every day petrified someone would find out.

“I won’t tell anyone about you,” she repeated, “if you don’t tell anyone about me.”

Before he could reply, she held out a hand, twisting the air with the other into a swirl. The tiny tornado in her palm was the only sound for a moment.

“Oh.” Zuko breathed, “You’re... you’re an...”

“Yes.” It didn’t feel right to say it out loud. “And you’re...”

He nodded hesitantly. It definitely didn’t feel right to say that out loud, because the word hung between them, heavy and deadly. Because she had watched him practice firebending just hours earlier with Azula. Because there was only one thing more dangerous to be in the Fire Nation than an airbender.

———

To anyone else, nothing seemed to change between them. They both knew too much about surviving a world that wants you dead for that. But she suddenly trusted him more than any of her family. Not more than Mai, even though Ty Lee hadn’t told her yet, but there was no way she couldn’t feel closer to Zuko. 

They spent nights together by the turtleduck pond, either in amiable silence or hushed whispers. Azula could never know, because as much as Ty Lee loved her, her friend was dangerous. Azula didn’t understand, and maybe never would, no matter how grown up as she acted. She was everything she was meant to be, and her father meant her to be a weapon. A weapon wouldn’t hesitate to turn on anyone, even friends and family.  
Neither Zuko nor Azula had verbally confirmed it, but Ty Lee knew that family meant very little to Fire Lord Ozai. 

He wouldn’t hesitate when it came to Ty Lee, even if she was his daughter’s best friend - an airbender was an airbender, and an airbender should be killed on sight. And Zuko wouldn’t be any luckier. Because he was...

The word was dangerous. They never spoke it out loud, even after long nights of quietly talking about bending and long dead cultures, and treasonous thoughts about the war and history and their nation.  
But every night she stayed over, they would sit quietly by the pond until sunrise, even if it made Zuko so tired he stumbled through his firebending lessons the next day. Ty Lee showed him some of her airbending tricks, and they raced tiny tornadoes over the pond’s surface.  
She told him about auras and he told her about spirits, and Vaatu, who was kind even though he claimed to be dark.

“I’ll help you find a teacher,” he half yawned one early morning, “there’s got to be someone left. Or I’ll ask in the spirit world.”

She tackled him into a hug and smiled, because even if it wouldn’t work, she knew he’d try.

“I’m going to run away to the circus,” she told him another late evening, “I’ll be an acrobat.”

“You should take Mai. She could be a knife thrower.”

There was something else there unspoken, that no one dared comment on.

“She’d be happy, I think,” Ty Lee confessed, “her aura gets so much brighter when she can do her knife tricks.” (And when she’s away from her parents and this city, she didn’t say).

“When you go, write to me?”

When, not if.

“Of course I will, silly, you’re my friend.”

Zuko had smiled, half asleep on the grass. “When I find a teacher, I’ll send you a letter so you can come meet them.”

The next morning, he was called to an audience with the Fire Lord. The next afternoon, the west wing of the palace was destroyed by a vengeful spirit. The next evening, Prince Zuko mysteriously disappeared, supposedly banished under orders of Fire Lord Ozai.

None of the soldiers heard Ty Lee following them like a silent spirit to listen to the latest palace gossip. None of them knew that a soft pink shadow trailed them through the corridors and heard all about the fire and the demonic creature, and how the Fire Prince and burned under his own father’s hand.

Azula didn’t seem to notice any changes in Ty Lee, but she was swept up in her own kind of grief she would never admit to feeling. Her strong, colourful aura was stained black, slowly seeping into grey. If Ty Lee couldn’t see it, she’d think Azula was totally apathetic. The princess had laughed coldly when she brought up missing Zuko. 

“He was weak and stupid. If you think I care, you don’t know anything about me.”

“I know you.”

Three months later, she was packing a bag, whispering a confession to Mai and clutching her girlfriend’s hand as they stopped by the turtleduck pond one last time.


	5. Deleted scene - Sokka and Zuko’s original meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not really any background or extras to the fic, but the original scene where Sokka isn’t quite as the oblivious to his sexuality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want more deleted scenes and snippets. The actual fic is compared to crack a lot, but my first drafts are even wilder

What happened next was either the best or worst luck he’d ever had. The spirits - the ones that weren’t inhabiting turtleducks and teenagers, were definitely laughing. He just wasn’t sure if it was with him or at him.

It was sunrise when Zuko moved again, and when Yue moved over to him to see if he was alright, Sokka pointedly ignored how ethereal she looked in the first rays of sunlight. And then he didn’t have to pretend he wasn’t looking anymore, because his eyes were very much occupied.

Zuko rolled onto his back, and Sokka saw his whole face in the light for the first time. Two thoughts hit him like a komodo rhino: ‘oh fuck, that’s a big scar’; and ‘oh fuck, I’m not straight’. He didn’t particularly want to think too hard about either, but his brain was not complying.

The scar was obviously a burn, and Sokka wasn’t entirely sure how he’d missed it until now. It covered his left eye, curving around his head and ear, and down the side of his neck. When Zuko covered his eyes with an arm, he saw what looked like more burns on his hand and wrist. Sokka shoved down thoughts about how old, how deep, how painful, it looked. About what the firebender - and it was obviously from a firebender - must have done to make it so large and so prominent.

The rest of his brainpower was focused on the rest of Zuko. He was beautiful, with dark hair and pale skin - a combination that had made Sokka nervous before, because it so clearly screamed Fire Nation. When his eyes cracked open, they were gold. Sokka had seen amber, or yellow, on Fire Nation soldiers before, but Zuko’s were like the summer sun. It made Sokka want to write poetry. Spirits, he was a mess.

“What the fuck is going on?” His voice was low and rough, and it took Sokka a moment to realise what he had actually said.

His eyes had gone wide (well, one had - the other didn’t appear to open fully) and he was looking between Aang, Sokka and Katara, alarmed.

“Chill, Sparky,” Toph said, at the same time as Yue chiding “language, Zuko!”

He blinked at them, still looking somewhat concerned. Sokka was about to say something when Zuko just muttered “okay,” and promptly went back to sleep.

“He should wake up properly later today,” Yue said with a light laugh, “going into the Avatar State really knocks him out afterwards,”

Hearing someone talk about the Avatar State and not Aang was still jarring, and Sokka realised for a moment that he’d completely forgotten about the whole ‘two avatars’ thing. Spirits, he couldn’t look at a pretty boy for more than a minute without becoming useless. And now he was staring at Zuko again, who had shifted into his side, face turned into their direction. He looked-

No! Sokka was not going to be the weirdo who watched people sleep! He stumbled to his feet and muttered something about hunting, clutching his club as he headed into the forest. He ignored offers to go with him with a sharp shake of his head. If he was going to have a sexuality crisis, he was going to do it in peace.

•••

Zuko did not go back to sleep. He closed his eyes and strangled the urge to scream. Because the Water Tribe boy (and now Zuko recognised that he must be Water Tribe, with his wolftail and blue clothing) was much easier to see in daylight. And that was not a good thing, because Zuko couldn’t string together a coherent thought anymore and Vaatu was laughing at him in his head.

And thank the spirits the boy quickly got up and left, because Zuko didn’t think he could listen to that voice for much longer without spontaneously combusting (which had had done once in front of a cute boy, and Toph liked to regularly bring up).

Zuko had only really looked at the boy for a few seconds, but now he couldn’t stop replaying them in his head. Spirits, he didn’t even know the guy’s name, and all he could think of was his dark skin and blue eyes and-

This was going to be the Jet Incident all over again, he just knew it. Although in hindsight, Jet had weird eyebrows and the wheat thing was odd, so the Water Tribe boy was actually doing better in that regard. Zuko was screwed. He was just thankful that Toph wasn’t calling him out on his mini crisis, because she could definitely feel him spiralling.

‘At least this one doesn’t have mouth wheat,’ Vaatu mused.

Zuko mentally sent him a slew of curses June had so graciously taught him.

‘Ah, is this what Toph calls ‘gay panic’?’

Zuko was going to strangle his earthbending teacher.

•••

Toph was having the time of her life. The only useful thing she’d ever learned from her parents was how to keep a straight face in public, and she was definitely utilising it now. But every time she felt Sokka, somewhere off in the forest, punch a tree - or Zuko’s heart gradually slowing down then spiking back up again - she suppressed the urge to giggle. Spirits, they were morons.

She was never going to let Zuko forget this.

And with the way the conversation was going, she would be getting a lot more entertainment out of this. Raava’s avatar would be staying with them so he and Katara could learn waterbending from Yue, and earthbending from Toph. Which meant she had plenty of time to torment Sokka and Zuko. The Water Tribe boy was already somewhat scared of her, so she could definitely ramp that up to ‘absolutely petrified’ too.

“It will be lovely to have more students,” Yue was saying, “though I should warn you Toph and I have... different.... teaching styles,”

Toph grinned, punching a fist into her other palm. “You better be a quick study, Twinkletoes,”

Aang’s heart stuttered nervously. “I’m sure it’ll be great, sifu Toph!”

Adorable. She would obliterate him on day one.

•••

The forest was peaceful, almost idyllic, in the early morning sun. Sokka would appreciate it more later, when he wasn’t questioning everything he ever thought he knew. Because he was smart enough to know that, yes, he was developing a crush, and yes, it was on a boy, and a boy from the Fire Nation, no less. An ex-noble Fire Nation boy, according to Yue. Who Sokka had seen conscious for no more than a minute.

He punched a tree again, thankful that no one could see this, or hear this, or somehow otherwise sense this. Because that was impossible.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been gone, but definitely long enough that he should have caught something by now. Using hunting as a cover story was all well and good until you remembered you actually had to hunt.

So he found himself at the river, poised to spear some fish with an improvised sharp stick, because he definitely wasn’t thinking clearly enough to track and capture anything. He had been reduced to fishing, of all things. 

“Hey,”

Sokka fell into the river.

“Oh spirits, I’m so sorry!” There was that voice again. Fuck, Sokka was bad at this.

“Zuko!” It came out strangled, and he turned to see a worried look on the other boy’s face. He was hesitantly reaching out a hand, and it took Sokka way too long to remember he was sitting in a river.

“Oh, uh, yeah, thanks,”

His hands were soft, but there were a few callouses - he was a swordsman, Sokka remembered. Zuko was the Blue Spirit, which was weird to think about. Then again, Zuko was also apparently the mortal embodiment of chaos.

“I’m sorry for calling you a jerk!” He blurted our, definitely way too loudly, as Zuko pulled him up.

“Uh, don’t worry about it. I’ve been told I am. A jerk, that is,”

Sokka laughed, and then suddenly realised he was still holding Zuko’s hand. He glanced down, and wow, yep, definitely holding hands. Spirits, they were warm. Was that a firebender thing? Zuko seemed to notice too, and his cheeks turned slightly pink. Sokka pulled his hand away, spinning around to grab his club out of the river before he could embarrass himself any more (although embarrassing himself any more would certainly be an achievement at this point).

“Your, um, sister wanted to talk to you...” Zuko started, and when Sokka turned back to him he was nervously glancing away. Right, because Sokka had just held his hand like a weirdo.

“Cool, right, thanks,”

“Yeah, they were talking about waterbending. Like, learning waterbending. From Yue. Because, uh, she’s a waterbender,”

“Oh.” Sokka suddenly remembered Katara and Aang talking about learning from the spirits - or whatever these guys were. “Does... that mean staying with you guys?”

“Yeah, we’ll be around this village for about a month. We tend to move around a few different towns throughout the year though,”

“Great. Awesome. Wonderful. Yeah, that’s great,”

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> [Find me on tumblr!](https://koiotic.tumblr.com/)


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